Food

Here’s the latest.

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Have figured out (the hard way unfortunately) that I am not able to digest solid food properly right now. The biggest issue seems to be solid carbs in particular. After I ate, I’d be good for like… 30, 45 minutes and then the pain was excruciating.

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So, went to Albertsons and bought a ton of soups, yogurt, pudding. I also got some shredded cheese and some sliced turkey (to experiment with protein solids). It seems to be panning out. Had soup yesterday with some shredded cheese and couple slices of turkey (no breads) and was able to get through without the same kind of horrifying pain. Today, we went to a movie (studio movie grill) and I got grilled chicken strips… but wasn’t thinking and also had a few french fries.

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By the time we got home I was in agony… for hours. Finally either.. hurt enough to pass out, or stopped hurting enough to fall asleep and woke up at 11pm to have more soup. Learned my lesson I guess.

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So from here until surgery it looks like I’m on a soup diet. The turkey and cheese seem to process without too much issue so I can help keep my protein in check that way.

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I talked to the NP yesterday about it and she said really the only thing they could do would be bring me in to refer me to a GI specialist… but I think the real issue isn’t digestion… it’s space. My uterus is super-enlarged, and I’m guessing that some of the critical organs in that area are a bit… displaced which may be causing some of the difficulty with digestion.

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If it doesn’t change after surgery.. then I guess we’re in for a trip to a GI. :shrug: I’m just hoping I’m right about the space thing, and that it isn’t a sign the cancer has spread into my gastric system. Won’t know anything about spreading until after surgery. She’ll be sampling the lymph nodes to check after the hysterectomy is done.

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Still can’t really believe this is my life right now. Like… seriously?

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Emotionally… dealing with the food thing ok I guess. It’s a little weird, for someone who’s had a seriously disordered relationship with food for most of my life to suddenly be so restricted by necessity and pain. I realized today I can actually start seeing some of the weight loss in my face. Not my abdomen- that is still distended as fuck unfortunately- but in my face. It’s bizarre. I’ve spent so much time the last 2 years learning to accept and even love the space that I’m in, the body I’m in, my belly, my face, my arms… I’m not really sure what to think as some of that disintegrates. Guess it’s just one more thing I’ll have to adjust to right?