A nice day with my bfam. Got a GIANT stuffed penguin that mum meant to give me for Christmas but forgot about… so I got it as an easter present. They know me too well.
Then a nice chat with my dad. He keeps telling me he’ll fly out for my surgery if I want him too… which worries me to be honest.
Appointment with the oncologist is on Thursday. And I’m almost regretting it. I think back to last year when stuff was… wrong, but I didn’t know I had Cancer. And it was easier to just.. feel off. I am genuinely scared about this appointment.
To say nothing of the fact that this will be person #100 (not really but I’ve lost count) who will have me strip so they can shove their hands, fingers, tools inside me to check me out. For someone who has spent the majority of their life avoiding vaginal/uterine contact with other persons … it’s been more than a little disconcerting.
I suppose at some point I’ll sit down and actually blog about that… get it out and out of my head. But not tonight. Tonight, I have laundry to put away… and then I need to sleep. I hope this Dr. on Thursday has more answers, has better plans. I’m so tired of all this waiting and wondering and worrying.
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