2:50am

And basically all I’ve done since I woke up from a nap around 5pm is cry, take 4 Norco (4 hours between each dose of 2 pills), and try to distract myself.

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But at no point has my pain gone below a 7 on the pain scale. Mostly… depending on how I move… 8-9.

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I’m really really unhappy. I know it’s logical for it to hurt at the port site, but is it normal to hurt this much?

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I have to call the Oncologist in the morning and see if there’s something else I can take. I can’t handle this. When I’m admitted to the hospital, my pain-threshold number on file is 3 or 4. This is fucking ridiculous.

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I’m not used to being in this much pain anymore (although I keep trying to remind myself that pre-diagnosis I used to WORK at a 6+ on an almost daily basis). It just fucking hurts.

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I keep saying over and over again… it’s worth it, it’s worth it, it’s worth it. If it means they don’t have to stick me 5billion times every time I have Chemo… or put an IV line at my knuckle, or blow out 5 veins trying to get it in. But jesus h christ I am seriously wussing out over this pain. I can’t deal with this shit. Seriously. How did they NOT give me something more significant for when I got home with this shit?