With a Capital C

I keep looking in the mirror, expecting to see… I don’t know- a big letter C carved in my forehead.

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Some calling card on my body that will announce my Cancer before I have to. Do you know what it’s like to have to call people and tell them you have Cancer? My best friend and I decided there needs to be a new greeting card niche:

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“Hi, I love you but I had to say,

I found out I have Cancer today.

When you’re done freaking out

Then give me a call,

Peace and best wishes…

My love to you all.”

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Catchy right?

I called most of the folks I needed to tell “in person.” And I’ll talk to work tomorrow when I go in. Anyone else is finding out via FB… or here. :shrug:

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How am I supposed to feel? I’m not surprised… I’ve known deep down that it was Cancer since this all started last year. So the first major emotional response is already moot. I’ve spent 5 separate phone calls trying to make other people feel better. Because… I’m too numb to even need comforting at this point. Nothing’s changed really… it’s just that now it has a name.

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Cancer.

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Funny… I can’t seem to type it without using a capital C.

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Cancer.

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For the rest of my life I’ll be a girl who had Cancer.

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I have Cancer.