Crumbling

Just called in sick to work. Well, first I hugely overslept, then my supervisor called. then I called back and said I wasn’t going to make it in. Then I got a guilt trip.

Over the last 2 days it’s really started to hit me, everything that’s happening, everything that’s going on. and i’m not really dealing with it that well. I just keep breaking down. And I wanted to just say… fuck you. You get diagnosed with cancer and tell me if you don’t need a fucking day away to process it eventually.

but I didn’t. Yesterday I spent about half of my day either crying or leaving my desk so I could cry. How am I going to last 2 more weeks until this appointment, and who knows how long after that for surgery? I can’t deal with this. I can’t deal with this. I can’t deal with this.

I feel like I’m crumbling.