Landscape of Me

I miss the round smooth evenness of my

pre-war belly

the predictable dips and hills of regularly spaced 

stretch marks

soft mauves and pink skin

waves of gentle contrast.

.

this post-cancer body

creaks

and groans,

it dips crookedly

marked by

dark purple scars

the remnants

of things that no longer exist

below this new lopsided crest of flesh.

.

Unfamiliar,

This landscape of healing.

New lines and curves,

the marks of

fighting and more so-

the wounds of war

won.

.

Strange, this shape 

the feel of myself

older and yet

unknown.

Another thing to learn

Another piece to

love.

.

This imperfect life

hard-won

but all

mine.

.

I miss the round smooth evenness

of my pre-war body.

But this new landscape 

will do.