Bone Pains

Somehow in the last hour, it seems that every single joint in my body is in pain and under pressure. Knees, ankles, wrists, shoulders. My head is aching and I feel… just… I feel like shit.

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And I keep shifting in bed, turning, tossing, trying to get comfortable and I can’t. I’m just… it fucking hurts.

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And I have no idea what to do about it. I took a hydrocodone but it hasn’t kicked in yet and I don’t even know if this is chemo related or just body weirdness or what. But I’m just… sitting here, bawling.. uncomfortable and in pain and out of sorts and unhappy.

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I don’t want to be in pain. Where is it coming from? I didn’t do anything weird or different today it just… started in. I mean, my ankles felt a little weak earlier, and my headache’s been building but now it’s just… like my whole body is sore and uncomfortable. All over. And my knees hurt so fucking badly. I really really hate this.

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I don’t know what to do about it. Like, is this something I call the oncologist about? Or do I just try to deal with it? Normal? Not normal? Fuck. I just got to a point finally where I knew what my body was doing and now it’s all fucked up again.

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Right now, I just want to sleep. Seriously, just sleep. I’m so tired and I hurt and fuck this shit. FUCK IT.