Dizzy

Awake for a minute. Going to try and go back to bed until I have to leave for radiation.

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Feel worse and worse each day. Tired, sick, nauseated, unsettled. 11 more radiation treatments and 2 more Chemo. Then a month off, then more Chemo.

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I think the Chemo alone will be fine, manageable at least.

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But the radiation. :sigh: I just feel like I’m draining away. Kris keeps offering to drive me on radiation only days and I keep saying no. But the truth is, she may have to soon. I’m so tired.

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Spent most of yesterday in bed… probably most of today too to be honest. I don’t know how to manage my symptoms anymore. I’m not vomiting. But whenever I eat, whatever I eat… the diarrhea is so bad. Sorry, tmi.

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I’m losing weight, more than before. My body is a different shape than it was a week ago. I’m tired of feeling sick.

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I keep telling myself that it’s almost over but it doesn’t feel like it’s almost over. I hate this. Which supertherapist would say is a poisonous thing in and of itself. But I don’t know how to feel any other way about it. I know it’s temporary. I know I’ll be fine when it’s all over.

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But I hate it. I hate the way I feel. I hate being sick and exhausted and weak.

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:sigh: Dizzy. That means back to bed with me.